True but thats because hes a fetus.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize
