You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
