Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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