Are we in a gay sports bar?
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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