did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Randomize
