Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
