I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
