I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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