i just google imaged poop.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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