dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Randomize