I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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