is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
