Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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