She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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