yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Randomize
