Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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