they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
