what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
You're earring is so big in my mouth
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
