Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
