my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
