Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
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