you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Randomize
