You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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