HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
You know, be my cock's hype man.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
