i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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