We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
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