I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
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