I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
