I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize