Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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