I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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