So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
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