after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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