I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
