His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize