well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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