He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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