I wanna bring you to show and tell
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
