so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
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