y did u give ur computer a hand job?
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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