I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
