I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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