I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
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