I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
