dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
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