She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
