It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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