oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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