i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
