My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Randomize
