Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
