i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
