if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
