after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
