chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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