3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
