SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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