So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
