Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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