It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
