I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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