Screwed.edu
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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