Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Randomize
