Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
She needs sedatives and a leash
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
