After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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